Many people spend thousands to go on retreats, a peaceful mind altering journey. In fact, I didn't spend a penny, even my bus fare was returned to me.

It is amazing to see that such genuine people really exist in such a cruel and bitter world. My life has been so agonisingly depressing, full of sadness and pain to the point I wanted out. I couldn't see no light at the end of the tunnel no matter how hard I tried or prayed. Today, however, I see a light and have peace, I feel encouraged for once and I feel happy.

I learnt through this course to look at things meta, learning to love and my core beliefs and not to be a mindreader, to have and to give boundaries, to have self compassion and be compassionate, to look at my impact on others, to be authentic.

“I see a light and have peace, I feel encouraged for once and I feel happy.”

These wise, kind people took their time and knowledge to help me understand that I had taken on roles and behaviours that I had developed in childhood. This has been mindblowing. Being vulnerable didn't come easy, neither is gaining or giving boundaries but knowing that in my life I took on the role of a child and a rescuer as part of a traumatic past and manipulation tactic has been eye opening. I had always known that I was traumatised and I behaved child-like but truly understanding the deep meanings of how and why I felt the need to be a people pleaser has encouraged me to change.

“These wise, kind people took their time and knowledge to help me understand that I had taken on roles and behaviours that I had developed in childhood. This has been mindblowing.”

Seeing the life and chaos and mayhem that I lived, the addiction and mental health issues that I agonised over was so deeply saddening but I dwelt in it as it felt so familiar. I was happy to be in my own bubble and to keep rescuing yet I was saddened when I was not acknowledged or appreciated. I “enjoyed” being a social recluse, I didn't like people anyway so it suited me but I always felt deep loneliness.

So being taught these life altering theories and critical thinking has been a fantastic journey for me. Learning about existential anxiety and how I accepted to be alienated has made me understand that the depression I felt was connected to past situations. This was freeing for me. I loved every single second of this course and I was so sad when I realised that I wouldn't have these wonderful people around me but I have their teachings stuck in my head and heart. These facilitators with their non judgement, considerate, kind and caring nature who treated me with such compassion and kindness is something I have never experienced in my life. This has made me feel alive.

“So being taught these life altering theories and critical thinking has been a fantastic journey for me.”

No more will I embrace calling myself names, being proud to be a self called socially reclused alien feeling. Being different is a coping strategy and I embrace it.I will accept that I have a different communication style that I will develop and grow with acceptance and kindness and vulnerability, always being authentic.

The life I have always dreamt of is only a lesson away, I will use these teachings to change and improve myself and my life, I will strive and survive. So I started with a goodbye to Psychology for Change but I will end with a thankyou and deep gratitude and a goodbye for now.